Since I’ve already written about why I’m thankful that my first birth experience sucked royally, I thought it would be nice to follow up with how insanely amazing my VBAC was.
By the time, I became pregnant with my second son, I was certain of two things: unnecessary interventions in my first birth had caused my cesarean, and I wanted to have a VBAC this time.
I began to join message boards devoted to natural birth, and I noticed that a very high percentage of the successes were those who were tuning into their bodies, and letting the natural process take it’s course. I read every positive birth story I could get my hands on.
I signed up for out-of-hospital childbirth classes. At this point, my husband was still skeptical and was gently and subtly hinting that I could just have a repeat cesarean. But being a very smart man, he humored me and joined me for the classes. One night, a few weeks into the classes, on the drive home, my husband turned to me and said (quite outraged!) “That doctor set you up! He led you right into a cesarean! There was no reason for any of those interventions!” I was so happy that he finally understood what I was so pissed off about. From that point on, he was fully on board with a natural birth.
Financially, a birth center was not an option, but I had since switched to a hospital which was much friendlier toward natural birth. This hospital encouraged VBACs. I was able to see a Midwife, and in general, I was never made to feel that I was “high risk” because of my prior cesarean. The one time I met with an OB, she mentioned that their “policy” is to not let any mom go past 41 weeks, so I would need to schedule a cesarean for that date, because they don’t induce VBACs. I took it in stride and politely told her that I wouldn’t be scheduling a cesarean without a medical indication. She laughed, gave me a knowing look, and said “Hey, I did my part and told you what our ‘policy’ is. You have every right to decline.”
I’m glad we had that conversation well ahead of time, because at 9 days past my due date, there was still no labor! I was much more at ease knowing that we had already come to an understanding about not intervening without a reason. I asked my midwife to check me at my appointment, and was pleased to find that I was 3½ centimeters. I left my appointment excited, and feeling certain that my body knew what to do.
After the appointment, my husband and I went to lunch. The waitress congratulated me on my pregnancy and asked when I was due. I told her “Nine days ago.” Her jaw dropped, and she said “Oh, my GOD! Is it safe to still be out and about? Shouldn’t you be on bed-rest or something? I thought women weren’t allowed to go past their due dates.” I let her know that I was planning on doing things naturally and there wasn’t any reason to evict the baby just yet.
Being a tightly wound person by nature, I thought that maybe I just needed to deeply relax for labor to start. That night, after my 19-month-old was in bed, I made it my mission to relax. My husband filled the bath, lit some candles, and put on my favorite Billie Holliday CD. He sat next to the tub and kept me company. We talked about our toddler, the new baby, the upcoming birth and our hopes for our family. I relaxed in the tub for what must have been an hour. I got out around 9:30 p.m. completely loose and at ease.
I sat down on the couch to watch TV with my husband. I noticed a very slight cramp, much easier than a menstrual cramp, but I definitely felt a distinct tightening. Three minutes later I felt another tightening, then another three minutes after that, then another. They didn’t hurt at all, which had me confused, but knowing that the contractions were already 3 minutes apart and lasting over 60 seconds each, and considering that I had already been dilated to 3½ cm that morning, and knowing that we had about an hour drive in the pouring rain, we decided to call my mom to make the half hour journey to come stay with our son. I figured we could always send her home if it turned out to be a false alarm. I just had this instinct that this was the real deal and that it would go fast, so I wanted to save as much time as possible.
As my husband packed the truck, I relaxed in the shower, then picked out my favorite pajamas and fixed my hair. By this point, the contractions felt like stronger period cramps. Even though they were still 3 minutes apart, I wasn’t sure if it was labor, because they just weren’t anywhere near the level of pain I had experienced on Pitocin with my first birth. I called my doula, Kym (PS – if you learn one thing from this story, it’s HIRE A DOULA!), to have her meet us at the hospital. As we began the drive, I fully expected that I would find out that I wasn’t really in labor… it just seemed way too easy. I secretly began to fear that this was just the beginning and I would have much more pain ahead of me. In retrospect, this self-doubt was classic transition.
When I arrived at the hospital, the nurses told me that I was way too calm – there was no way I was in “real” labor and I would be going home, but that they would have my Midwife check me anyway. When she checked me, to everyone’s surprise, I was already fully dilated. “SWEET!” I thought. My midwife asked my husband if he’d like to see the nurses faces when she told them that the woman they thought was too calm to be in “real” labor was already 10 centimeters. Of course he stayed with me, but I’m sure it was tempting. My midwife told me to let her know when I felt an urge to push.
A nurse came in and tried to give me an IV, but I declined, and told her that my midwife had already agreed to a heplock. She insisted that it was hospital policy to run IV fluids, and I politely declined a second time, at which time she gave up.
The position that was most comfortable for me was sitting completely upright in the bed, my back supported by the back of the bed, with the foot of the bed lowered so my legs could dangle. My doula called this the beach chair position. She rubbed my feet which felt divine, and my husband held my hand. I sat perfectly still and completely relaxed during contractions.
I had a contraction that suddenly felt more uncomfortable than the rest. My doula noticed, and after the contraction was over she encouraged me to listen to my body and get into a different position. I flipped over onto my knees and rested my arms and head over the back of the bed.
With the very next contraction, I was PUSHING! I was in awe of the power of it all. My body was pushing all on its own! My doula paged the midwife, and she quickly came in. As the baby began to crown, I wanted to flip over. I gave those last couple of pushes in the classic position, and out he came! I remember shouting with joy “I’m DONE!” The nurse exclaimed “Wow! He’s a big one!!!” I remember being confused and saying “No he’s not. Look how tiny he is!” After having a toddler at home, this new baby looked so teeny tiny. I thought there was no way he could be over 6 lbs. My perception was off, because he was 8 lbs. 14 oz. It’s worth it to note that during the cesarean with my first (7lb 5oz) baby, the doctor told me “He wouldn’t have fit through your pelvis anyway.”
"I DID IT!"
My entire labor was only 4 hours from the first contraction until birth. I only pushed for 15 minutes. I was elated that I had just given birth to my baby completely without intervention. I felt like I could climb Mt. Everest!
Everyone cleared the room and gave us that golden alert time to bond. Seth went right to the breast and nursed like a champ.
I was in utter bliss with this new little man, and thrilled that thanks in large part to my planning, learning, practicing and preparation, I had now become a VBAC mom.
