A recent blog post I read proclaimed “DON’T Carpe Diem!”
Don’t seize the day.
The writer of the post very eloquently quips:
There was a famous writer who, when asked if he loved writing, replied, “No. but I love having written.” What I wanted to say to this sweet woman was, “Are you sure? Are you sure you don’t mean you love having parented?”
I love having written. And I love having parented. My favorite part of each day is when the kids are put to sleep (to bed) and Craig and I sink into the couch to watch some quality TV, like Celebrity Wife Swap, and congratulate each other on a job well done. Or a job done, at least.
I agree with the writer of the blog post to a large degree, like a 99% degree (and I would love to know who the “famous writer” is she quoted, since she didn’t give a name). So much of the job of parenting is just getting through the day with everyone alive and still sane.
Believe me. I know. My kids are 6, 5 and 2 1/2. I feel for the author of this post.
But this is where we diverge.
In all the messy, screaming, hectic-crazy shuffling, sticky, me-pulling-out-my-hair, bath, teeth-brush, story, night-night, now it’s FINALLY time for me and hubby to hang out, my GOD are you asleep YET? I feel that I have CARPE’d the freaking DIEM.
Seized the day.
And sometimes Carpeing the Diem was surprisingly gross. Especially during the newborn barfy phase. Or potty training.
Carpe literally means “to pick, pluck, pluck off, cull, crop, gather“.
It relates to harvesting. Have I harvested my kids to the fullest of the day? Or have they harvested me? I still can’t decide who this is supposed to relate to.
Have I been a perfect mom? Have I enjoyed every mind-numbing moment of separating a 6 & 5 year old who love to wrestle? Have I enjoyed 30 minutes of figuring out that the unintelligible sobbing if a two-year-old relates to the fact that she heard change in my pocket and wanted to put it in her piggy bank? No. It sucked-ass while I was in the midst of it. I had moments where I was wondering why I thought I was cut out for being a mom. I have (not past tense like I “have HAD”, but present tense, have) moments where I am thinking “Go to bed so my grownup life can begin!”
So I understand where this author is coming from. I really do.
But there were moments of helping the kids to dress, singing silly songs about underwear, scrambling to figure out what these little souls would be fed for lunch, sitting on the edge of the tub for 15 minute while the 2-year-old goes poo-poo, snuggle-buggling, and frantically piling into the van that are etched into my mind as checkmarks of accomplishment.
So this is where the author of that post and I diverge. For her, “Carpe Diem” is taboo because it is an unrealistic standard forced upon moms. Every day has to be perfect, and you have to be reveling in the perfection every moment of every day to be “carpe-ing” the “diem” Only on a perfect day can you have “Carpe’d the Diem”.
But for me, every one of those seemingly-mind-numbing checkmarks is “Carpeing” the “Diem.”
For me, Carpe Diem means I can look back on the day with 3 very-small children and think “My kids are fed. My kids are happy. My kids have a roof over their heads. My kids had some kind of fun today. My kids are glad I’m their Mommy. We laughed about something.”
Perfection is nowhere in there for me to have considered myself to have “carpe’d” the freaking “diem”.
So yes, DO “Carpe Diem.” However you do it. Because just by loving your children, you are seizing the day. And never let some blog post tell you that no mom could be good enough to live up to “Carpe Diem.”
